Hi sunshines,
Fate can be cruel. You think you’re plodding merrily along and then…Bam! Whack! Kapow! She slaps you across the face with a wet kipper. [Ouch! And Ewwwwwwwwww – Ed.]
Shame. Just ask Lady Lea, the latest victim of Survivor South Africa: Santa Carolina who got zapped by her tribe on last night’s episode. No one saw it coming, not even the people who voted for her. How? Well, the tribe had wisely decided to vote out the next most irritating person on the show, Darren Maule [And note, we predicted he would be irksome weeks ago. We just gonna take a moment and pat ourselves on the backs. Pat. Pat. Pat. – Ed.] but Darren pulled a sneaky, playing the Hidden Immunity Idol, forcing the tribe to vote elsewhere. Lea got the chop. Cruel. Just cruel.
Here’s the renowned DJ’s Celebrity Quick Byte Q&A…
Q: You’re auditioning for Idols. What song would you choose?
A: Ice Ice Baby by Vanilla Ice, because I can’t sing but I know all the words to Ice Ice Baby.
Q: If you were competing in an all-celebrity version of Strictly Come Dancing, who would you pick as your dance partner?
A: Probably Ryk Neethling, because he’s tall and sexy, and he looks like he can probably shake his tooshie. All the ladies love him, so we would get all the votes.
Q: What politician would you date?
A: Arnold Schwarzenegger if I really had to choose out of that…umm…very unlikely group.
Q: What’s your feeling on 2012? Do you think the world will *really* come to an end?
A: No. But I think we should all start thinking about the environment and other living beings, by taking them into consideration every time we do something.
Q: Your belly button – is it an innie or an outie?
A: Innie…with a belly ring.
Q: Do you like your toes?
A: Yeah I love them!! They work perfectly! I call them Niknak toes.
Q: What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever eaten?
A: A clam the size of my head! On Survivor SA: Santa Carolina – we were starving!
Q: If a genie gave you three wishes, what would they be?
A: Well if wishing for unlimited wishes is cheating, then I’d have to say world peace, love and happiness.
Q: If you had the power to annihilate all recordings of one song, what would it be?
A: Parapapapapaapaaa. Aaah!!! My exit track.
Comedy time: tell us your favourite joke or one-liner…
A: Oooh eh eh!
Ok, so she’s no stand-up comedienne but she’s a kick-ass DJ. Gossip Guy’s grooming tip: go back to the crazy hair girlfrenn. We loves you as a pinkhead. Even electric blue would suit you. [Today is rhyming day here at Gossip Guy. Oh yay! – Ed.]
So, my dear 27.7 loyal readers, what did you think of Lea’s shock exit?
Gossip Guy over and out.
Gossip Guy 
