Cameron van der Burgh Does "The Incredibly Pointless Q&A"

Golden boy!

Hi sunshines,

See that glint? It’s the shine of an Olympic gold medal, clasped in the manly paws of SA swimmer Cameron van der Burgh. Go on, bite it. It’s the real dealio… how cool!

And what a super duper cool dude Cam is.

Gossip Guy met him earlier this year (remember that A-List radio show thingy that I did???), when an Olympic gold was still just a pipe dream and he was a perfect guest. Polite. Sweet. Good to look at.

So, in honour of Cam’s Olympic triumph, Gossip Guy just had to put some especially tough questions to the swim-meister. Needless to say, he handled them well. You might even say he did ‘swimmingly’. [Oh the chuckles – Gossip Guy.]

Who’s your #1 favourite celebrity crush?
Natalie Portman. I saw her at a function during the Olympics and she is extremely beautiful.

Complete the sentence: I would never, ever… sell my gold medal.

What do you wear to bed? 
Boxers. I like to be comfortable and find wearing a t-shirt irritates me. [With that buff torso we can see why – Gossip Guy.]

With the sun setting, Cameron’s shirt automatically disappeared.

If you could trade places with any other celebrity for 24 hours, who would you choose? 
Lionel Messi. I love football and would love to play a game in the Nou Camp as him. [For those who’re only here for the shirtless pics and have no idea what a ‘Nou Camp’ is, never fear. Gossip Guy has Googled. It’s a  soccer stadium in Barcelona. And now you know! – Gossip Guy.]

If you could have 2 super-powers, what would they be? 
The ability to fly would be amazing. Then I wouldn’t need to buy airline tickets anymore. 
Super brains. To be able to read women and understand why they do things would be nice. [Damn, you’d make a fortune, flying around and reading womens’ minds – Gossip Guy.]

What would you do with 5 million bucks? 
I would buy myself a nice house. [They do say property is a solid investment. Wise move! – Gossip Guy.]

If you could have tea with the Queen, what would you say to her? 
That she was awesome in the opening ceremony of the Olympics. [If only she’d have smiled though… – Gossip Guy.]

Miss Moneypenny had aged considerably

What skill do you wish you had? 
I wish I had better ball skills. Playing in a team sport is a lot of fun. Just wish I was better at it. [“Ball skills” – hahaha. Childish I know. What can I say? – Gossip Guy.]

You’re having a dinner party. Which 5 people would you invite? 
Nelson Mandela, Richard Branson, Trevor Noah, John Mayer and Robin van Persie, the Arsenal striker. [Room for one more? – Gossip Guy.]

XoXo

Gossip Guy 

PS: Follow me on Twitter. The more the merrier! 

PPS: You can also follow Cam on Twitter.

Is Tiger Woods Bisexual?

Hello sunshines,

And welcome back to another scintillating edition of seedy rumours, fabricated news, blatant lies, speculation, in-you-endo and propaganda, with the occasional bit of truth and the odd fact woven in for good measure [And to appease the legal team over at Trouble & Strife Attorneys at Lay, er we mean Law – Ed.]. Yup, it’s time for more Broken News, where like Who’s Line Is It Anyway?, the games are made up and the rules don’t matter.

New York Times, New York City, New York State, New York Minute, Liza Minnelli singing New York New York, America, The World Ya’ll: In what celebrity watchers are calling ‘a shocking new twist to the Tiger Woods debacle after a quiet few days in which there haven’t been any twists at all really’ comes word that Tiger Woods is bisexual. According to the 68th woman to come forward with claims she’d slept with the married soap opera actor, former Playboy model Loredana Jolie says Tiger “swings both ways and sometimes from the chandelier. I, like, totally saw him sleeping with other guys,” Jolie [Not to be confused with Angelina – Ed.] says. “This one time he wanted this, like, huge orgy. It was just girls and guys everywhere and he was totally into the guys if you know what I mean,” she giggles, before reading off a small piece of paper. “He…is…definitely…bisexual. I…was…it…oh, er, I mean I saw it…with…my…own…eyes.”

Jolie (left) is reportedly asking a small appearance fee [A mere $1-million – Ed.] to anyone who’s prepared to listen to her tales of the sordid bisexual group orgies. She’s also threatened to take more than her due 15 minutes of fame to market a tell-all book, appear on Ryan Seacrest’s radio show and have lunch with Steven Spielberg is no one believes her. “I’ll be like Sarah Palin. I swear. Even though you hate me I’ll be, like, everywhere you look. So you better, like, listen to me. Okay? Please…”

In related news, at least three men have since come forward saying they’ve slept with Tiger Woods [Ha ha, you said “come” – Ed.]. Two of the men, gay porn stars Dick Steele and Roger Rammer, are said to be speaking to a credible source [US Weekly – Ed.] about the alleged trysts, while the third gentleman remains a mystery. The CIA [Celebrity Investigators Anonymous: duh! – Ed.] say they’ve ruled out notorious Hollywood Casanova John Mayer and Tom Cruise. “It’s definitely not Tom. Everyone knows he isn’t bisexual.”

SOURCES: The New York Times (newspaper), A friend of Loredana Jolie, Loredana herself, a reader of The New York Times (newspaper) who once saw Tiger playing golf