Ty Keogh Does "The Incredibly Pointless Q&A"

Hi sunshines,

Gossip Guy here. You know me from such exciting blogposts as “Hottie Of the Week: Chris Zylka“, “Generations Shocker: Connie Ferguson Quits“, “Darren Scott’s Wedding: The Inside Scoop” and “Holy Six-Pack, Batman! New Super Hunk Joins The Bold.”

We’re also here to enjoy the almost now legendary Incredibly Pointless Q&A, where well-known peeps, celebrities and VIPs [In a rhyming mood are we? – ed.] get quizzed on the finer things in life.

As a longtime devotee [You say potato, I say stalker – ed.] of actor/model Ty Keogh, it was time to get to know The Wild actor a bit better. Even if still have no idea how to pronounce his surname…


Who are your celebrity crushes?
Natalie Portman – she’s versatile. I love the fact she can be the girl next door as well as supersexy. It doesn’t hurt that she’s an incredible actress. Kate Beckinsale and Olivia Wilde must be aliens because it’s impossible to be that perfect. I think Emmy Rossum from Shameless is brilliant and gorgeous. But my biggest celeb crush is a local, South African one… Just gonna call her freckles. [Huh? What! That’s teasing. No fair, no fair. Could it be Cindy Nell, Minki. No wait, Jena Dover…aaargh, the suspense is killing me – Gossip Guy]

Complete the sentence: I would never, ever… change what I’ve been through. My life hasn’t always been this good, but it’s because of all the struggle that success tastes this sweet. [Deep dude. Oprah would approve! – Gossip Guy.]

What do you wear to bed?
I don’t own pyjamas. [We’ll be right over to tuck you in – Gossip Guy.]

Which fellow celebrity would you like to trade places with for 24 hours?
Jay Kay from Jamiroquai for his car collection. I think 24 hours would be enough time to drive them all without worrying about the fines arriving in the mail. [Sneaky of you – Gossip Guy.]

“Da roof, da roof, da roof is on fiy-ah”

What two super-powers do you wish you had?
Being able to heal would be incredible – not keep people young but help those suffering in pain. Then flying. It’s the one reoccurring dream I have and it’s always a disappointment when I wake up with gravity keeping me down. [Darn that Newtown and his stoopid Law. on the other, perhaps we could put you in a spandex superhero costume just for fun. Er, call me… – Gossip Guy.]

What would you do with 5 million bucks?
There are a few people and organisations I’d help personally and I wouldn’t mind doing some travelling. [Gossip Guy could fit inside a suitcase. Just saying… – Gossip Guy.]

If you could have tea with the Queen, what would you say to her?
“Do you have any coffee?”

What skill do you wish you had? 
I wish I could’ve made it as a professional sportsman. It’s possibly the only job that I think could be more fun than acting. [We hear the Olympic Village was raunchy, er we mean raucous – Gossip Guy.]

You’re having a dinner party. Which 5 people would you invite?
I think to have fun I’d throw Robin Williams and John Belushi on opposite sides of the table. That would get the party started. Then maybe PJ O’Rourke next to me for some snide commentary, Anthony Hopkins to inject some class and manners into the conversation and my ‘crush’ sitting next to me. [No room for Gossip Guy. Booooo! That’s ok Jena, no Minki, no Roxy, no Natalie Becker will fill us in! – Gossip Guy.]

Dunno about y’all but I feel so much closer now to Ty. In fact I think we should do him as a future Hottie Of The Week – what do you say?

XoXo
Gossip Guy

PS: When not following Ty on Twitter, feel free to give Gossip Guy a mention.

Celebrity Quick Bytes – The "Cindy Nell" Q&A

Hi sunshines,

Gossip Guy here, bringing you a cunningly timed Celebrity Quick Byte with the multi-talented Cindy Nell-Roberts. Last night we saw her booted off Santa Carolina as the second victim of Survivor South Africa’s tribal council. As an aside, Ashley Hayden – that was some underhanded, sneaky backstabbing girl! Yho Yho Yho! And Jub Jub, we shall never ever forget your penis. Is it allowed to say ‘penis’ and ‘internal genital infection’ that many times on TV???
Anywho, at Gossip Guy, we’re working on bringing you a Celeb Quick Byte with every Survivor celeb as they fall like dominoes…next week, it’s the turn of…haha, kidding. I’m sworn to secrecy about episode three’s casualty. Shhhhhhhhhhhh!

Anyway Cindy Nell-Roberts is known for many reasons – she’s a successful model, a former Miss South Africa and Pasella presenter for the last five years. Here’s her take on the 10 questions we ask everyone.

Q: You’re auditioning for Idols. What song would you choose?
A: I love country music. It’s in fact my favourite music but I never tell anyone because I am almost sure they will laugh at me…So I would probably choose a country song. Perhaps Just Because I’m A Woman from Dolly Pardon. You see, I bet you’re laughing already!

Q: If you were competing in an all-celebrity version of Strictly Come Dancing who would you pick as your dance partner?
A: DJ Fresh cos’ he obviously would have a lot of rhythm, the female judges will think he’s cute, the men will think he’s cool, he’ll be able to do lifts with me easy-peesy, and I reckon he’ll look great in a suit. Oh and best of all, we’ll dance on all the best stuff.

Q: What politician would you date? 
A: Sarah Palin. Then we can share make-up, do our faces and talk about beauty pageants and saving the world!

Q: What’s your feeling on 2012? Do you think the world will *really* come to an end? 
A: No, not a chance…didn’t we all say that in 2000? I just think we are in for a shift in the way we think, what we believe and the way we live, but it’s been coming for years. I don’t think we’ll wake up and trallala! New way of seeing the world. I think there will be a change, a physiological and spiritual awakening or environmental awareness, but as I say, it’s been coming!

Q: Your belly button – is it an innie or an outie? 
A: An innie with a piercing.

Q: Do you like your toes? 
A: No, they are long and crooked and frumpled and the small one is too small and the middle one looks like a finger.Yuk! But anyhow I keep them well manicured with a French so no one notices.

Q: What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever eaten?
A: Mopani worms on a Pasella show about weird food. And crabs I caught myself on the beach in Santa Carolina during Survivor, and I don’t mean the big yummy pink ones, I mean the terrible small white ones that taste like crunchy poo with a twist of acetone.

Q: If a genie gave you three wishes, what would they be? 
1) I want to be super skinny…like Victoria Beckham.
2) I want to be a billionaire.
3) I want a home and endless supply of food for everyone that doesn’t have any.

Q: If you had the power to annihilate all recordings of one song, what would it be? 
A: PPPPPOker face! Enough now…really. We’ve heard it!

Q: Comedy time: tell us your favorite joke or one-liner… 
A: What does the fish say when it swims into the wall? Dam!

Yes…But Will They Survive?

Hello sunshines,

It’s *the* hot topic of the moment, the talking point that’s got people talking, the conversation on everyone’s lips – who are the 18 schmucks who agreed to be contestants in the upcoming Survivor South Africa: Santa Carolina? [Ag, who are we kidding, kids? Let’s just call it Celebrity Survivor and be done with it. It rolls off the tongue better too – Ed.]

According to YOU and Huisgenoot, M-Net pre-selected over 300 ‘personalities’ to participate and put their shortlist through some gruelling fitness and personality tests, hopefully to determine whether they’ll make for good reality TV. The list is, I have to admit, not terribly A-list, with some excellent choice and some head-scratchingly odd names on the list – no offense meant to comedians Darren Maule and Kaseran Pillay [Er, who???? – Ed.]
Precisely Ed, precisely…

Here, in no particular alphabetical order, are the 18 who battle the elements, each other and not being able to get Woolies:

Ashley Hayden
Famous For: Gap-toothed, bubbly M-Net continuity presenter from the days when M-Net still had continuity presenters, Ashley now does occasional inserts for the pay channel. She’s pretty low-key these days.
Star Power: Like we said, she’s pretty low-key these days. Not exactly A-list. Maybe an A minus… [Sorry Ash, you know we love you! – Ed.]
Chances Are: Not bad. Ash proved she’s made of strong stuff on the fourth season of Strictly Come Dancing when she danced her way into fifth place (out of eight) – with a broken toe nogal! Wonder if she’ll impress again?

Christina Storm
Famous For: Geez people, if you don’t know who Christina Storm is, you probably still think Chappies cost 5c each and that Loving is playing on M-Net Open Time. X-tina is probably our most famous model and unlike the likes of some of her peers, girlfrenn can actually act as she proved when she took over from Esta Terr’blanche as Egoli’s Bienkie. She was also one of the judges on M-Net pole-dancing reality show Stripteaze, which was let’s face it, a bit of a flop.
Star Power: Oh definitely. Madam’s a star. [And she knows it – Ed.]
Chances Are: From what we hear, slim to f-all…and that’s all I’m saying for now!

Cindy Nell-Roberts

Famous For: Winning Miss South Africa in 2002 and second princess at the 2003 Miss Universe. Cindy is more than just a pretty face. She’s also a successful model, businesswoman (together with hubby Clive Roberts they’ve brought cosmetics range Essence to SA), plus she’s hosted Pasella for the last five years and came third in the previous season of Strictly Come Dancing.

Star Power: Forget A-list, she’s more like A+ list…

Chances Are: She’s tall, athletic and could be distracting eye candy for the boys. Possibly a dangerous combo. We’d watch her like a hawk if we were playing!

Craig Jacobs

Famous For: Writes about celebrities, fashion and decor for a living. Craig, together with Gwen Gill, were the Sunday Times social scheme journos for years, until the paper stupidly pulled the plug on the popular section. He also has his own clothing range, Funduzi, which he regularly shows at Fashion Week.

Star Power: Debatable…he’s written about stars, which doesn’t necessarily make you one. Tables are turned now though: should be interesting…

Chances Are: Sorry Craigster, we don’t see you handling the harsh elements of Survivor too well.

Darren Maule

Famous For: Actor (Hard Copy & FONT), TV presenter (Play TV & Out Of The Box) as well as a stand-up comedian.

Star Power: For someone who’s done quite a bit, poor Darren has always teetered on the cusp between C-list and B-list. Maybe Survivor will give him an A-list break…

Chances Are: We’ve seen his stand-up comedy and flip, he’s irritating. If he can keep the sexist jokes to a minimum and not use the word ‘fuck’ in every sentence, he might not get voted out in the first episode. Might…

Garth Collins
Famous For: Another former Strictly Come Dancing contestant, Garth is better known as strongman Granite in the now-defunct Gladiators series. He’s also tried his hand at acting, playing in Villa Rosa and Kompleks. Apparently he’s a bit of a stand-up comedian too.

Star Power: Let’s be honest – Strictly Come Dancing gave his career a much-needed jolt. Survivor will probably do the same. But fame’s 15 minutes usually doesn’t last long. Felicia Mabuza-Suttle, anyone???

Chances Are: He’s physically tough. The challenges should be a breeze.

GiGi
Famous For: Um, yeah, um, hmmmm, does a small part in Poena is Koning count? Nope, thought not.

Star Power: Non-existent. She’s an exotic dancer (which is code for ‘stripper’). Whoever heard of a famous striper….?

Chances Are: Hmmmmm, tricksy. We predict GiGi is a bit of a wildcard in this motley bunch. We’re excited to see what she’s all about. There we said it. Godhelpus…

Gys de Villiers
Famous For: He’s acted in 7de Laan, Binnelanders and played Malan in Malan En Kie. Simply put? If you’re not Afrikaans, you’ll be going, “Who the hell is he?”. As an aside, we recommend watching Binnelanders from season 1. It’s good. No, make that great.

Star Power: See “What the hell?” comment above…

Chances Are: At 49, he’s the season’s oldest contestant. Judging by American Survivor seasons that doesn’t bode well. The old white guy usually leaves by episode 4. Hey, don’t shoot the messenger!

Hanna Grobler
Famous For: Another “if you’re not Afrikaans you just won’t get it” contestant. She’s Bok van Blerk’s real-life girlfriend and was recently seen in the Afrikaans version of Footballer’s Wives, Getroud Met Rugby.

Star Power: If you watched Getroud, maaaaaaaaybe A-list. If you didn’t, D-list. Definitely D-list.

Chances Are: A possible wildcard. Not all blondes are dumb. Pam Anderson is. Hanna? Unlikely.

Izak Davel
Famous For: Being on the cover of YOU and Huisgenoot. Oh, we kid. Well, sort of. Izak is a professional dancer who rose to fame as Egoli’s hunky Goth kid Scab. After quitting the soap he embarked on a successful career as an Afrikaans singer. He’s also flippin’ hot and not shy to pose shirtless.

Star Power: Definite A-lister! Did we mention he’s flippin’ hot and not shy to pose without his shirt on???

Chances Are: Years of dancing have made Izak strong [And flippin’ hot too! – Ed.] Definite contender, even with a shirt on. Sigh. But we hope he accidentally leaves his behind.

Jub Jub
Famous For: Popular hip hop singer. Yes, hip hop. It’s a type of music gran. You should try it sometime.

Star Power: He’s big ya’ll. But this sort of thing is relative. Let’s put it like this: if you found the new Celine Dion album in your Christmas stocking it’s not likely you’re listening to Metro FM. Get my drift?!?!?!

Chances Are: Can he rap? Yes! Can he build a raft in 2.8 seconds? Don’t think so!

Kaseran Pillay
Famous For: Very little actually. I’m more famous than this guy.Okay okay, so I wasn’t in Mr Bones 2, haven’t ever hosted Going Nowhere [Which is a pun on his career, right? Oh the chuckles! – Ed.] or tried my hand at stand-up comedy, but let’s not quibble okay…

Star Power: Hahahahahahahahahahaha! Ha!

Chances Are: Who cares!

Lady Lea
Famous For: According to her website Lady Lea [Not her real name – Ed.] started DJing at age 14. She’s now a few years older than that but is still DJing. She has 14 albums to her name. Which is impressive for someone most people haven’t heard of.

Star Power: Hey, if dance music ain’t your thing…

Chances Are: She’s a feisty one this Lea. Methinks this will be to her advantage.

Louw Venter
Famous For: Actor/presenter/comedian Louw Venter is a household name. [Yeah, a household name in his own house – Ed.] Kidding! Lesser known for hosting kykNET game show Mal Genoeg and better known as the Corne half of the hilarious Corne and Twakkie from The Most Amazing Show. He’s also in the movie Rainbow Skellums. Don’t worry. We didn’t see it either.

Star Power: “Ja man, hey” as Corne would say.

Chances Are: One to watch. Good comedians – and he is good – are like chameleons. He’s probably not physically strong but will excell in the “outwit” portion of the competition.

Okkert Brits
Famous For: Former Olympic pole vaulter whose personal best jump of just over 6m is an African record. Should you care about these things.

Star Power: Not really. Ryk would’ve made a better choice for token sportsman.

Chances Are: He can jump, like, really high and all that jazz, but we’re not convinced he’ll sparkle on TV. Let’s hold thumbs though, as he’s kinda cute in a goofy way.

ProVerb
Famous For: Man, this guy is hip hop/rap royalty. Like the SA version of Kanye West, just without the speechous interruptus tendencies.

Star Power: Oh heck yeah!

Chances Are: We predict Survivor will do for Pro’s career what Strictly did for HHP – make him mainstream. [But then again you also predicted Adam Lambert would accept your marriage proposal and look how that worked out. Still single… – Ed.]

Sade Giliberti
Famous For: The former Yo.TV presenter is probably tired of hearing the phrase “she’s all grown up now” but it’s true dammit. She *is* all grown up now. And the sexy lass proved it when she hosted the local version of So You Think You Can Dance.

Star Power: Actually, we’re a little confused here. Most of the other contestants have appeared on M-Net or KykNET shows but Sade has always been a SABC gal. Mmmmmm, wonder what the M-Net folk saw in her? This is a good sign.

Chances Are: Okay, we’re officially intrigued. Oh, and at 24, she’s the youngest contestant.

Sandi Schultz
Famous For: She’s Binnelanders’ Dr Jennifer Adams. Sandi has spent time in the US and is a regular blogger with a deft writer’s touch. [Takes one to know one, eh? – Ed.]

Star Power: With Binnelanders set to become an hour-long show in March, taking over from where Egoli left off before Open Time, well, er, closed, we predict big things for this lovely lady.

Chances Are: Too sweet to be sneaky. But don’t let that fool you. She looks strong enough to tackle the challenges.

So, dear readers, what do you think of the list? And more importantly will you tune in for the first episode on 20 January? I know I’ll be watching, popcorn and a cup of tea at hand.

Jared “Jay-Rod” Orlin

PS: The latest issues of YOU and Huisgenoot have all the juicy deets on the contestants. Check them out.

It Ain’t New Year’s Eve Until There’s Fireworks Involved…

Hello sunshines,

And happy, happy, happy, merry New Year. Hopefully you’re as excited about 2010 [The year, not the soccer! – Ed.] as I am!

Is it just me or did the recession mean the trend for this year’s New Year’s bashes was for low-key and less expensive. I know that sounds like the kind of thing Top Billing presenters say with a mouthful of teeth and their happy/snappy/so-not-crappy attitudes, but I did a very informal straw poll [ala PriceyWaterhouse and Recoupers – Ed.] among family and friends and seems quite a few people shunned over-the-top, extravagant parties. I even know of people who stayed at home and did nothing at all. Yes, it’s true, these people exist. It’s not just an urban legend like the tokoloshe, Yeti, Loch Ness Monster, Lady Gaga’s penis and Will Ferrell’s acting abilities. They really exist. I know: weird huh!
Not me though. No way, uh-uh, no how, I’m too much of a social butterfly to stay indoors, especially with such a gorgeous, full (and blue nogal!) moon out there.

So, my dear 14.7 readers, let me tell you about my night:

[Editor’s warning: what follows includes blatant examples of name-droppery, sycophantism and a sparkly black top hat. Consider yourselves warned…dun dun dun… – Ed.]

I was invited to a houseparty at [Namedrop 1 – Ed.] Cindy Nell and hubby Clive Roberts’ house in Morningside, Sandton. I went on my own, admittedly nervous I wouldn’t know anyone, except for a few folk I’d met when I covered their all-white wedding in the Natal Midlands earlier this year [Shameless plug alert! – Ed.]. And had a gloriously social and chillaxed evening. Cindy and Clive, two of the most down-to-earth people I know [Brown-noser! – Ed.], know how to throw a party. On the Gwen-Gillometer, it definitely scored a full 10 out of 10. There were fireworks aplenty, yummy grub being passed around by waiters, danceable music and guests dressed according to the themed: black and bling! Memorable touches included blingy accessories Cindy passed round (think sparkly glitter top hats, feather boas, tiaras etc) and a machine that printed photos of the guests straight off Cinders’ digital camera. Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice!

I spent most of the evening chatting to [Ohh, here comes another namedrop – Ed.] Kass Naidoo, her hubby Ryk and brother Pravin, [And another one! – Ed.] Binnelanders actress Sandi Schultz (who plays Dr Jennifer) and her partner Laszlo, self-described soap slut Terence Bridgett [Here we go again – Ed.] and designer-to-the-stars JJ Schoeman and his partner Leon. [Urgh, I give up… – Ed.]

Some New Year’s “Did You Know?”:

Did you know that JJ and Leon have a new project up their sleeves? They’re starting a design school for the underprivileged, where people can learn how to make the kinds of gorgeous clothes he designs every day. Warm-hearted JJ has decades of experience in the fashion biz and decided 2010 is the year to pay it forward. We thoroughly approve of job creation, especially during a recession!

Did you know that Kass has added some funky highlights to her hair? Looking good, girlfren! Not that you ever don’t but the streaks show off your innate spunkiness.

Did you know that Sandi is a dress designer? She also blogs, tweets etc [Memo to self: must get in touch – Ed.] Is there anything this lady can’t do? We’d met briefly before at the YOU Spectacular but last night was the first time we had the chance to chat. Turns out we have lots in common (including a mutual friend and fellow non-celeb blogger). Adventures In Entertainment predicts 2010 will be a big year for Sandi…[Can’t tell you why yet. If we did we’d have to kill ya. And then we’d only have 12.2 readers – Ed.] PS: Sands, I love the fact you don’t do ‘resolutions’, you do ‘intentions’. Good idea!

If I may Oprah you for a moment, oh captive audience of 14: Best wishes for a glorious year ahead. May it be filled with more of the things you love and love in general.

Jared “J.Rod” Orlin

Sending Out An S.O.S For Miss SA

Hello sunshines,

Question: Did anyone catch the live broadcast of Miss South Africa 2009 on SABC 3 last night? Another question: Did it look as dull on TV as it did from my vantage point on table 8?
A further question: Is the pageant breathing its last?

I certainly, sincerely hope not. But in an era where Tiger Woods’ and Joost van der Westhuizen’s sexcapades are full-pages newspaper headlines (and sell, nogal!) two things are very clear to me:

Thing #1
The pageant’s glory days – where the likes of Anneline Kriel, Michelle Bruce, Margaret Gardiner and Diana Tilden-Davis were A-list celebs just by donning the sash and waving their perfectly manicured hands to the crowds – are over.

Thing #2
Our new reigning beauty, Nicole Flint, certainly has her work cut out for her. Over the last few years interest in the pageant has declined as steadily as the Rand-Dollar, Obama’s approval rating and my sex life. Can we afford for even fewer people to care? Of course not! Particularly because Tiger and Joost dominate headlines we need good, clean, slightly-boring-even celebs to balance it out on some kind of cosmic scale of celebrities. Like the climate change folks say ‘We’re at a tipping point ya’ll’ and if we go too far down the slippery slope of smut and scandal, there is no turning back.

But enough with the doom and gloom already, let’s get to the good part:
What went down:

Everyone was shocked that a black contestant didn’t win. Think about it: we’ve had two coloured girls in a row and before that a whitey. The last time a black girl won, George Dubble-Ya was still in the White House and the world hadn’t yet heard of Lady Gaga [Yes, such a time does exist. I’ve looked it up on Wikipedia so it must be true. – Ed.] The Sixth Law of Beauty Pageants states that for every white girl winner, there shall be an equal, opposite (or blend thereof) winner to balance out the spectrum of our rainbow nation [Guess the Asian community never got that memo, huh? – Ed.] Jaws literally popped open when the two black ladies in the final five were not announced as winners. [It was almost as shocking as Penny Lebyane’s performance as wooden, autocue-reading, bad-joke-cracking hostess – Ed.] Still, I’m going to give Nicole a whole lot of leeway and the benefit of the doubt because a) she impressed me during our interview and b) head judge Sonia Raciti-Oshry, who also happens to have clinched the title in 1998 so she knows a thing or two about these things, was pleased as punch with the choice. Which brings me nicely to my first memorable quote of the evening…

“Nicole is as tall as I am and I placed third at Miss World” – 1,72-metre-tall Sonia Raciti-Oshry on 1,72-metre-tall Nicole Flint.

Other quotable quotes from the night:

“Gibraltar? I thought it was just a rock, not a country” – The Star’s Therese Owen couldn’t believe a Gibraltan is Miss World. [Er, is Gibraltan even a word? – Ed.]

“So, the SABC – a hectic place to work” – hostess with the mostess Penny Lebyane tries her hand at stand-up comedy.

“Those ladies are here every year” – YOU’s senior photographer Dino Codevilla innocently pointing out Sun International efficient PR team. No Dino, they don’t go to the opening of an envelope. They organise envelope openings.

“This is Jared and he’s just started a blog about the entertainment scene in South Africa” – Cindy Nell, trying hard to win the award for best former Miss SA turned publicist as she introduces me to top-notch, high-level Sun International employees. [Who’d probably much rather be getting drunk at the free bar. – Ed.]

And, dear reader, if you’ve managed to read this long-winded, convoluted post this far, your efforts were not in vain. I have some (cleanish) gossipy bits for you…

The Gossipy Bits:

Which supposedly straight celeb, who’s married, has everyone – and I mean EVERYONE – talking about how obvious it is he/she bats for the other team???

Which celebs’ boobs are these??? [Hint: she’s a beauty queen. And no it’s not Bassie Kumalo – Ed.]

Until next time, in the words of Louis Gossett Jnr in those beer ads, “Always keep it real.”
Jared ‘Jarhead’ Orlin

PS: Here are some snaps of me with some famous people.